Who Cut the Cheese?

By: Wyatt H.

     In light of the recent break-ins, our attention has been focused on the “valuables” like TV’s, money, computers, and these so-called student resources called iPads. However, I feel the real issue is the fact that those doltish children who broke into the school stole our beloved grilled cheese. Where have these people taken it to and what do they want with it? All I can be sure of is that the student body misses it and wants it back. Right now.

     Many students in this community feel the need to bring back grilled cheese, including James G. is views seem very hostile towards the cafeteria: “I was starting to get over it but you [brought back] old memories. I miss the grilled cheese a lot, and I think they should bring it back.” He was also upset because his daily exercise routine was disturbed by this conundrum. “I like dipping my grilled cheese in tomato soup. It was a great way to stay in shape.”

     Unfortunately, his partner has opposing views. When asked whether she liked grilled cheese, Natalie C. snidely replied, “I’m vegan.” The conversation ended there. On the other hand, Solly, a well-respected father figure without the kids, says, “If I didn’t have grilled cheese in my life, I wouldn’t be able to achieve my dreams. Not only that, but grilled cheese helps my beard grow.”

     However, after investigating where our grilled cheese was taken to, I made a startling discovery:The grilled cheese had escaped from the greasy hands of its captors and returned home! On January 22nd,
grilled cheese made a cameo appearance in the Dining Commons–which we were all thrilled about;however, we will only delay our rebellion when we know it’s back for good.

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