The Gift of Facial Hair

By: Wyatt H.

     From the time man first stood upright, he has been faced with the question of whether to shave or grow a beard. From the distinguished look of a mustache to the brawny impression of the huntsman, facial hair has always defined men. I even find myself contemplating whether I should floor the girls at school by growing my manly beard out or impress them with my smooth “baby like” shaven face. Whether it is the guys from Duck Dynasty or Justin Bieber, facial hair adds a whole new level to a man’s character.

     Whenever Brad Pitt or Pierce Brosnan sports a five o’clock shadow, it gives him a mysterious look. This holds true for our classmates as well. Have you ever wondered what Solly Klombers does on the weekends? With a full beard and a head of hair to match, we can only guess that he is out in the wilderness stalking big game. Who knows, but he looks pretty darn good. He claims all he does to keep that beautiful work of art looking good is, “get up,sorta look at it, then go to school.” This is truly remarkable. What about Mr. Bostock? I mean, that beard exudes character, not to mention style anda suave nature. Many people think of beards as pure greatness. Look at Mr. Simpson, for example; he thinks “facial hair is the grease that greases society.” I’m not even sure what that means, but itsounds inspiring. He goes on to tell me that he would “really like to encourage all people of all makes and models to find a way to express themselves either by growing hair on their face or by gluing hair to their face. I think regardless, it is truly the way we can sing our songs.” This is a beautiful idea that should be spread to all parts of the world.

     Facial hair is not as acceptable for women as it is for men. However, Ms. Stuart believes that women have the right to grow facial hair. I asked her what she would do if she had a beard and shereplied, “I would keep it… I would use it to hide things in [but] I wouldn’t shave it into a mustache.” Then I asked her what she thinks about how facial hair is normally associated with guys and she said that my question, “is proof of the degradation of our society, that our society is one that is in decline.” This proves to me that Ms. Stuart is probably going to be an innovator of women’s facial hair, and that she isn’t afraid to break stereotypes about facial hair on women.

     Before you start cultivating your own facial hair, be aware that not many people are blessed with great beards. Look at Mr. Simpson and Nick Gerace. Poor guys! I myself revel in the fact that the men in my dad’s family sport a five o’clock shadow by noon each day, and wear a sweater even when their shirts are off. Some people are given the gift of facial hair, and some just don’t have it.

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