Snowmaggedon

By: Ictoriavay Ardnergay

     Due to all of our snow days, the last day of school has been rescheduled for 07/04/2014. This means that all students are expected to cancel their summer plans, and the Nepal Trip will not take place. However, our cancellations may have only just begun. A storm on April 10th is expected to bring more than twenty feet of snow and five feet of hail. There is also the possibility of fire, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, and tsunamis. If these storms hit as projected, we’re likely to miss over a month of school. To make up these days, summer school will be required from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. seven days a week. Final exams will take place on August 25th, and next year’s classes will begin on the 26th.  Summer school is mandatory and missing any days will result in a deduction of days from winter and spring break the following year. To prevent snow days next year, LCDS will install bunk beds in the basement.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      All students will be required to sleep in their assigned bunks any night there is expected snowfall. Bunk assignments will be determined by GPA. The LCDS locker room showers will be used for students’ hygienic needs, and canned meats will be served for breakfast and dinner, donated by Canstruction. There will be fire drills every night, anytime from 12-3 a.m. to ensure the students’ safety in the case of emergency. For any stay in the LCDS bunks longer than three days, mandatory five hour athletic clinics will be run by Mr. Phipps. Changes of clothing will be provided by the Lost and Found. These preparations may seem unnecessary, but we cannot afford to miss any more school days in the future. 

This article is part of the 2014 April Fools issue for the Fourth Estate. None of the information in the article above should be taken literally.

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