More Tech, Please?

 By: Akejay Tarzyksay

     The world is becoming more tech savvy every day. People are wearing watches that talk to them and glasses that display movies as they walk to work, so why shouldn’t schools join the world? Being an independent private school, LCDS should have no problem getting its students the right technology, right? But LCDS hasn’t quite succeeded. Some would say I’m wrong, but to me, getting an iPad when you finally reach your first year in high school is just not enough. If we use electronics when we are babies to learn our ABCs, why shouldn’t we use technology in kindergarten? Sure, two or more bubble-wrapped iPads for a class of five- and six-year-olds is nice, but we should give them more. I think that LCDS should invest in some Google Glasses for all the grades. We need them so when we are not staring at our iPads, we can actually look up at our teachers’ faces and play Flappy Bird by bobbing our heads up and down. Everyone could take Snapchats while they are looking at the board, which would be so efficient. However, this is just one necessary improvement. Another problem is that we need more pixels. The world is becoming digitized, and everything is now on a screen. Why shouldn’t our school have screens–TV screens, touch TV screens–all over every single wall in the building? We need this! If we are not looking at our iPads or computers, and we take off our new Google Glasses, what are we going to look at? What is there that’s worth looking at? Filling the walls with TVs would ensure we don’t lose our minds looking at real life images; when the world gives you technology, you use it, you use it everywhere, and you use it as much as you can. Soon enough we will need holographic meals so the cafeteria can bump the prices from real food to more expensive, artificial food that we can Instagram onto one of our very own personal touch TV walls in the school. Why not start the future right now? 

This article is part of the 2014 April Fools issue for the Fourth Estate. None of the information in the article above should be taken literally.

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